


Two guys, a girl & a joint

by Terfle



Category: Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: Gen, Parody, getting wasted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:26:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terfle/pseuds/Terfle
Summary: It's the morning after the Lurlinemas party at Shiz & Galinda goes looking for Fiyero. However, upon getting to his room, she finds something a little different than what she expected





	Two guys, a girl & a joint

The proof of last night’s festivities were evident all over the dorm rooms. Galinda crept her way to Fiyero’s room, thinking that if most people were asleep, she would get away with it. She was sure his roommates wouldn’t care, she hoped they would be asleep or even out of the room, leaving her alone with Fiyero. Now that would be worth getting up early for.

 She located his door and pushed it open quietly. The curtains were closed, a sliver of light streaking the room with a golden glow. There was a lump in Fiyero’s bed, the duvet rising and falling, his breathing soft. She was just about to perch on the bed and tap his shoulder when she heard the snoring. She frowned. Fiyero snored like a jackhammer. She should recommend something for that, some eucalyptus oil perhaps.

Hastily tapping a lump under the duvet and hoping it was his shoulder, Galinda waited. When she got no response, she sat and shook him impatiently.

‘Fiyero?’ She whispered. ‘Are you awake?’

No response.

‘Fiyerooooooo!’ she sang out, certain he would wake with a smile when he saw her.

The lump shifted and a hand snaked out of the duvet. Galinda froze. A green hand. The long green fingers curled around a corner and shifted it out of the way. Behind it lay a dark eye. Not the one Galinda was expecting. She yelped in surprise and jumped up, knocking over a bunch of dog eared magazines beside her on the floor.

‘Elphie!’ She shrieked.

The hand drew back the rest of the cover and Elphaba peered at her roommate blurrily. Shaking her head to clear the sleep away, Elphaba propped herself on her elbows and observed Galinda’s wrath.

‘What are you doing here?’ She hissed, almost dancing with impatience. ‘Where’s Fiyero?’

Elphaba yawned and stretched like a cat. ‘Last time I saw him, he was flirting with one of the girls in our chemistry class, that primping one with the pink fan and big bosoms.’

‘What?!’

‘I guess the boys must have gotten him drunk. He was dancing around the pole in the garden at some point.’ Elphaba’s mouth curled in a curious indolent smile. ‘Made rather a spectacle of himself I shouldn’t wonder. Actually it was quite the entertainment.’

Galinda could hardly believe it. Fiyero getting drunk and making a fool of himself? She didn’t think that was appropriate behavior for her potential future boyfriend.

‘What’s this?’ She noticed something by her feet and bent to pick it up. A hand from under the bed chose at that moment to fling itself from its hiding place and latch onto her ankle.  Galinda shrieked for the second time and fell over trying to get it off, landing flat on her face. From that confused angle, she saw the owner of the hand, lying under the bed. Fiyero’s grinning face came into focus.

‘Dude.’

She jumped up and threw the spliff away from her.

‘I remember that from last night’ came Elphaba’s bemused voice from the duvet. Galinda backed away.

‘You mean to tell me that you actually smoked that stuff?!’

‘I had a puff. They had most of it though.’

‘What in Oz name are you doing in Fiyero’s bed?’

Elphaba snuggled up on the pillow. ‘He was a perfect gentleman. He gave me his bed for the night.’

‘So what in Oz name is he doing under the bed?’

‘Is that where he is?’ Elphaba sat up and peered over the edge. Fiyero’s hand was waving around idiotically. He made his fingers dance, hoping for some sort of ovation. He didn’t get it. Galinda, outraged, stamped on them. They disappeared with a shout that rocked the bed. ‘OUCH!’

‘Well you shouldn't put them where people can walk on them’ retorted Galinda.

‘Stamp on them more like’ reminded Elphaba. Galinda rounded on her. ‘How could you let him get in this state?’

‘Let him?’ Elphaba was perplexed. ‘How am I responsible for him? He’s old enough to think for himself.’

‘Well he’s clearly going to regret it when he wakes up’ asserted Galinda with a prissy toss of her head.

‘I doubt it.’

Echoes of ‘dude’ could clearly be heard from under the bed.

‘Oh shut up’ snapped Galinda. ‘And you can stop that snoring too, I know you’re not asleep.’

‘Who are you talking to?’ Asked Elphaba, baffled. ‘I don’t think it’s him and it’s certainly not me.’

Galinda looked perplexed. Looking around the room, she saw very little that would cause such loud snoring.

‘Ah. That might be the answer.’ Elphaba nodded to the corner of the room. Galinda looked and sure enough, there was a cause of the snoring. A small lump sitting in the swivel chair, half sprawled on the writing desk. Galinda crept forward and poked it on the shoulder. It carried on. She leaned over and tried to make out the face.

‘It’s Boq.’

‘What in Oz name is Boq doing here?’

‘He lives here, remember?’

Galinda tried to conjure up an image of hapless little Boq twirling around the garden pole but somehow couldn’t quite make it. She had in mind a picture of him hitting himself on the nose with it instead.

‘He had a bit much to drink’ supplied Elphaba helpfully.

‘How much is too much?’

‘Well, around two drinks and a half.’

‘Half?’

‘He didn’t manage the other half. He passed out after that.’

O…K…Galinda had nothing left to say. This wasn’t turning out the way that she had pictured it.

‘Perhaps you should come back when they sober up a bit’ suggested Elphaba, who was uncharacteristically planning to go back to bed. Galinda had the strong suspicion that she was enjoying all of this.

‘This is crazy.’ Galinda backed out. ‘I’ll leave you to it.’

She walked out while distinctly hearing the still stoned voice of Fiyero under the bed, exclaiming cheerily ‘Good morning Mister Squirrel!’ She could also hear Elphaba’s tutting and Boq’s relentless snoring. A madhouse if ever she saw one.


End file.
